When my husband, J Douglas, shifted from owning his Tae Kwon Do school to working at The Salamander Resort & Spa, working weekends became a necessity for him. I decided to work Saturdays and we chose to take Wednesdays off to spend quality time together. That was nine years ago and “Wifey Wednesday” continues to be a staple in our lives and marriage.
Sometimes this day is filled with chores. Sometimes it’s a fluff day where we just relax. Sometimes we go to our favorite restaurant and take a cheat day with food and drink. Mostimes in the summer we can be found kayaking down the Shenandoah River looking for bald eagles. And, yes, sometimes it is a combination of all of the above! Wednesdays are sacred and we only book something else on that day if it is essential to our work or our life.
Why did we create this time? Quality Time is one of my top love languages. Also, working with many couples I see that many don’t make private time together a priority – and they don’t talk much at all (besides the kids and work). This leads to many problems including feeling lonely, unheard, and losing touch and connection with their partner. Just like happiness, partnership takes conscious effort. This is one way of keeping our relationship happy and healthy.
When we mention “Wifey Wednesday” to our friends and acquaintances, we get lots of questions – and some giggles. I decided to write this blog to plant a seed in as many psyche’s as possible. If quality time is your or your partner’s love languages, then it’s important to fill that love bucket! (As Gary Chapman speaks about in his books). This day is when we spend time together – doing, talking, laughing, and showing us that “we” matter.
Wait – I can already hear your brains working at hyperspeed to talk about all the reasons “Wifey Wednesday” isn’t right for you. “We have small children, we don’t have time to take a whole day together.” Or, “We like to do different things, how do we find a common activity we will enjoy doing?” Or, “What the hell will we talk about the whole time? What if it causes more arguments then laughter?” “We both work from home now. We see enough of each other.”
I’m just here trying to help you see that making your partner a priority is essential to a happy and healthy marriage. You can find your own unique way of creating time together and what that looks like. For you and your family, instead of “Wifey Wednesday” you could have “No Family Fridays (date night)” or “Self-care Saturdays” or “Husband Holidays.” Be creative. Have fun with the concept. I have some ideas for you to consider…
How might you create YOUR version of “Wifey Wednesday?”
- Identify your love languages and those of your partner. If you don’t have a partner, this is an opportunity to create some self-love and self-care time for YOU every week.
- Sit with your partner and look at your calendars and schedules. This is important. You might have small children or teens that you are transporting constantly. Your time together (or with yourself) might be only a couple of hours each week or even 24 hours together every other month. Grab whatever time you can manage.
- Make a list of things you would both like to do – and make it happen!